older random thoughts

older random thoughts entries

I've talked to several people about this already, and we all wondered: Where's the holiday feeling this year? It's December and damn near Christmas, but unlike last year, there is no eager anticipation, giddy delight, warm Christmas-y cheer. What happened? My only hypothesis is the lack of winter weather (or as winter-like as Southern California can get) is the culprit for it feeling like every other month during the year rather than wonderful December. It really needs to get colder already. I want to wear sweaters, not t-shirts. 12.01.02
Why do candy makers feel obligated to always include lemon flavored candies? Lemons are not exactly the most popular fruits to be eaten casually (indeed, they're not meant so much for actual consumption as for freshening up seafood, no?), so why are they included with such other flavors as strawberry, orange, and melon? I find it harrowing to have to pick out all the lemon flavored SweetTarts from the rest of the flavors. 10.27.02
Apples are really quite complete foods. They're filling, and they've even got cyanide-laced seeds to boot, just in case that one day, you want to end it all. You'd probably have to ingest about a couple hundred seeds, though. 10.15.02 Gee, I wish I was a member of an underrepresented group. "...a kind of academic Raskolnikov, curiously exempt from the cause-effect relationship which hampered others... the conviction that lights would always turn green for me..." OK, I know I'm being rather unfair with such a broad and distasteful generalization, but I am getting sick and tired of this damn reverse racism that is going around unchallenged because of its cloak of diversity. Shall we lower standards for the sake of diversity? And diversity for whom? and what? 10.09.02
Geez, I ought to take that "darkest secrets" thing off my guestbook. NAH. 9.29.02
My dentist gave me these sample tubes of Kids Crest toothpaste (OK, do I look THAT infantile?!?). Using it sure did bring back the memories. "Sparkle Fun Flavor." =) How great were the days when you could use silly overly-sweetened toothpaste and not feel silly about it? 9.23.02
I hate flies. DIE FLY! 9.21.02
Lifetime movies are so bad, they're mesmerizing. 9.16.02
Bill Clinton makes me want to believe. It was refreshing to be reminded of a time when presidents were articulate after two years of festering with the grammatical horror that is W. Bush. 9.11.02
I think I may unplug my tv tomorrow because, although it was a tragedy and we do need to remember, I'm tired of the overuse of the word "terrorism" to make us desensitized, and I'm tired of the overuse of the word "hero" to make us blindly patriotic. 9.10.02 Last night I dreamt I heard Spoon on the radio. 9.9.02 Some people, some singers, should be heard and not seen. 8.25.02

If you need sitcom stars from NBC in between commercials to get you to leave your abusive partner or keep from hitting your children or get help for being raped, you've got serious problems. And if NBC really thinks making such ad campaigns using familiar NBC stars is going to make their station appear people-friendly and caring and transcending of something more than simply a vehicle for producing money-making programs and selling commercials, it's got serious problems. 8.24.02

Men that carry a condom in their wallets "just in case" are usually those that can't get laid in the first place. On an unrelated note, did Disney get their series "Chip and Dale" from the groin-grinding goodness that is Chippendale's? Also, I've been trying to think up the "Chip and Dale" song, but all I can think of is the one for "Ducktales." Hm. 8.21.02

Men think they have to crush your hand during a handshake. Sure, having a firm handshake is better than the so-called "dead fish" kinds, but I would like to enjoy a fully functional hand after the handshake, thank you. 8.19.02

Even if the roll of toilet paper you have in the bathroom looks like there's enough for one more nature's call, replace it with a new roll, or better yet, get a new roll on standby, because it is natural law that the next time you have to use the toilet, it will be one of those situations where you've made it just nick of time, and when you are through with your business, you will see that there is not enough toilet paper. And that is not a good thing. 8.13.02

I love bouncing movies. Is that what you call it? When you buy tickets for one movie but watch two, sometimes three? Anyway, it's not like the movie theaters are suffering from it. They're actually making money when people do this. This is my reasoning: the theater is not likely to sell to sold-out audiences, so it means a few people can walk into the movie without preventing regular business that the theater would otherwise get. Also, when people see more than one movie, they're bound to buy some extra popcorn more soda (after some visits to the restroom, of course). And we all know how murderous the popcorn and soda prices are at movie theaters. So you see, everyone wins out. 8.10.02

I am NOT going to redesign this page again. Ever. Ahem. 8.5.02

You're fat. But instead of examining yourself for the reason behind this, you ask: Who can I sue? Yes, ours is a nation of litigation, and sure, fast food places should probably be banned by the FDA, but this is ridiculous. This Barber fellow is claiming that had he known fast food was so unhealthy, he would not have consumed them. I am interested in knowing whether he ever refrained from purchasing hot dog sausages or potato chips because they showed less than healthy Nutrition Facts on the back of the packages. At least, then he would have had easy access to the information. Was he so health conscious then? Or should he consult his lawyer to file suit against packaging companies for placing such nutrition information on the back of the bag, where it is possible to overlook them entirely? And what idiot can't look at those fake meat hamburgers and greasy fries and take a wild guess that they're PROBABLY not the healthiest things to eat in the world? One thing does trouble me: Where do chicken McNuggets come from? 8.3.02

It's 3 am. I am watching The Iron Giant on Cartoon Network for the third consecutive time tonight (because the damn bastards at the station are playing back-to-back encore presentations). I am slightly disturbed to find that I am laughing and getting teary-eyed or just plain sobbing at the same scenes, each time. 7.3.02

I don't know which is worse: the manufactured pop music of dubious teenage pseudo-angst lyrics a la Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, et al, or the new manufactured supposedly original "they wear what they want, write and play their own music" rock music of dubious teenage pseudo-angst lyrics a la Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton, Avril, et al. 7.2.02

AdSubtract, how do I love thee? How do I fucking love thee? Thanks, Lindsey. 7.1.02

Why does Lindsey Elizabeth Courtney want me to dedicate another entry to her? Aren't two dedications enough? And it's not like anybody reads the stuff besides her and maybe two or three other people. (See guestbook entries.) And why am I compelled to state her full name and not just her first? Ah well, here goes: Why is up with celebrities opening up restaurants? I think it's really low of them. Restaurants should be left to those entrepreneurs that don't already have loads and loads of money. This makes sense, not just economically, but palate-ly as well, if I might make up a word. New restaurants should be opened by regular people who want to make money, because then, they would actually care how the food in their restaurant tastes. Also, many times, restaurants will be owned by chefs, who will undoubtedly oversee all that goes on the kitchen and therefore, make the restaurant of better quality. On the other hand, when celebrities open a restaurant, they may make the food just edible and uninspiring enough to uphold their reputations (or lack thereof) but require as little experimenting with recipes and ingredients and so forth. And anyway, what good is a restaurant owned by Britney Spears? Is the food going to be served on her ass? Is she going to be our waitress? What's the deal? 6.30.02

The length of women's fingernails should be directly related to the field of work they are in. Cashiers and desk clerks should duly note this. Warning signs your nails are too long: 1) you have to visit the doctor for poking your eye out every other day; 2) you have difficulty picking up coins and/or sheets of paper; 3) the Guinness Book of World Records have already left messages on your machine twice for "World's Longest Fingernail," for which you would beat out that Indian guy by just over a foot; 4) your manicurist has to use an entire bottle of nail polish to paint up one nail; and finally, 5) you just look really really creepy. 6.25.02

I saw Kelly Osbourne at the Beverly Center today, with her pink hair and cheeks and all. It is so ironic that the children of the Price of Darkness should be so cherubic. 6.24.02

Spoon is so cool that I can hardly believe it. Their latest album "Girls Can Tell" is excellent, more mature, although there are great songs in some of their old albums too. I only have Michelle, my friend from middle school, to thank for introducing them to me... Meanwhile, I think I will buy their CD to help boost their sales and maybe help get some radio exposure, instead of just downloading mp3s, which makes me feel guilty when it's such a small band. 4.29.02

I have a very strong desire to delete all the stupid past entries. But that would be cheating. Basically, the only reason I'm writing this entry is because I haven't written for more than two months, which is really quite a record. I feel guilty when I've not written something here for a long time, as if this were a real diary of a little pretty notebook I'd set aside just for the sole purpose of writing some personal thoughts. And also because a certain someone keeps bugging me to update it. I feel like someone in the music industry, the day the artist realizes that she is no longer writing songs solely for her own personal comfort and joy but with the consciousness of others' eyes. Heh. So to speak. 4.28.02

I swear, if ever that old Sinead O'connor skin head look comes back (and I mean, REALLY comes back, like it becomes this huge fad thing, which will never happen), I'd be first in line at the salon to get it... 2.25.02

Latest semi celebrity obsession: Apolo Anton Ohno. Hm. It's been quite awhile since my last celebrity obsession. 2.24.02

"Waking Life" not nominated? Kill!!! 2.18.02

Don't mess with a fat girl at a vending machine. 2.1.02

Does anybody else think that Bryan Adams' song "Please Forgive Me" got totally bit off for that even more stupid song "Amazed" by Lonestar? I get pretty pissed whenever that song comes on the radio. I mean, not that I think Bryan Adams is the greatest or anything, and quite frankly, his songs are rather mediocre and too darn mushy gushy, but still. The thing is, there's been no complaints, not by Adams, not by Adams' publicists, not by Adams' record label. No lawsuits, no dubbing of the situation by the media as "neo-Vanilla Ice." What is going on? 1.14.02

Worst job ever: Brazilian waxer. "OK, spread your butt crack." Gee. No, thank you. 1.13.02

New Year's Resolution: Don't worry, be happy! Seriously. I used to think that if I forced a smile and fell under that false pretense of a bright-eyed, happy, hyper enthusiastic student, I was selling myself short, my intellect short. Not to mention that I hated how this was not expected so much out of the male half of the species, which disturbed my feminist tendencies. But I realize that I was just reading too much into things about society that cannot be changed and really do not mean anything that significant as to who I am. The kind of person I project should be the kind that others find pleasant so that this ultimately becomes beneficial to me. It certainly is not better, I found, to be considered "stuck-up" while somewhat preserving my self dignity than to just comply with societal expectations and put up a cheerful facade, if necessary, and being liked, at least, tolerable to have in the room. It's like I sort of had a pride that I wasn't well-adjusted, as if I had such great perception that I could notice things well-adjusted people didn't. "Life sucks. Society sucks. But I'm anti-social. Cool." That was a bit oversimplified, but anyway. And it seems, I don't want to be the bearer of misery to other people, no matter how pessimistic of an outlook I have about life. So I guess the sub-resolution to this resolution should be to stop being so uptight. 1.7.02

Why is it that sex therapists are people that look like they've never had sex in their lives? Or at least, not within the last three decades? E.g., Dr. Ruth. Ahem. 12.20.01

Thursday, December 13: the best Tonight Show ever! The guests were Russell Crowe and that dude that invented that scooter on crack, and musical guest Sting! Although originally, it was supposed to be Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper instead of that inventor guy, whose name escapes me at the moment and I am too lazy to flip open last weeks issue of Time to find out. If it really was Ebert and Roeper, the show would have been perfect. Ah well. 12.14.01

27-0? 27-0?!?? Talk about embarrassing. 11.17.01

OK, I'm not one to usually extol Microsoft products or anything (in fact, I'm more inclined toward the extreme opposite), but the new Windows XP is really something. It has a whole new organization which takes some getting used to at first, but I think the fact that the computer boots up in about 5 seconds is a good enough reason for the upgrade (although the cost for such an investment is fairly monstrous). Oh, and not to mention the fact that my computer hasn't crashed since I first installed it, which was more than a week ago. So, kudos. (But I still think the commercials for XP are really sappy. You know, with Madonna's "Ray of Light" playing and people FLYING AROUND?!? And, I mean, talk about selling out.) 11.13.01

Why is it that professors think that theirs is the only class you're taking? Well, and then there are those that pretend to be sensitive to the fact that you're taking more than one class by saying something like "I know you guys are busy with other midterms, but..." Notice the "but?" Actually, this is worse. This has known intention, premeditation, whereas the other professors are just oblivious, walking around muttering to themselves, thinking about possible future Nobel Prize acceptance speeches, etc. 11.12.01

Are ye in the Bowels of Powell? Or the Perils of YRL? The lungs or dungs of Young? Or perhaps the Kidney of Kinsey? Lindsey? HAHAA! (Oh, and uh... I should give "props" to Miyoung for some of these. Um. Yeah.) 11.11.01

What are hair products or personal hygiene products trying to get across by saying the product is "pH balanced?" It's so completely meaningless. OK, so it's no bucket of acid that's going to melt my hair. Wonderful. So what? And what is with those Clairol hair coloring commercials that spend 20 seconds trying to convince you that you need a new hair color and then end the commercial by saying "Clairol: A beauty all your own"?!? Am I missing something here? 11.9.01

Why is there only one side where you can open a milk carton? What happens when you try to open it on the other side? Well, I tried today. And you know what it says on the other side? It says "Open other side." Harrumph. So I did. 10.28.01

I'm a shoplifter. *sniffle* Well, maybe not really. OK, I was at Pottery Barn, and as usual, the service completely sucked. The lines were long as hell with the sales clerks either flipping through a three-ringed binder supposedly looking for prices of some scalloped dishes or just plain staring vacuously into space. What was worse was that some genius had the idea to place a large table right in front of the registers, so there was no possible way to form a sane line. So people were just looking for a way to cut in front of each other, albeit as inconspicuously as possible. Anyway, I was pissed. Some equally pissed-looking woman finally rang us up. Anyway, on my way out, I decided to head on over to this work station they have set up for those people who are crazy enough to whip out measurements of their homes and start constructing diagrams of where and how they want their curtains set up. And at this workstation are rulers and pencils and erasers, all with the lovely words "Pottery Barn" on them. Well, I didn't exactly need any more pencils or rulers, but I really could have used a new eraser, and good ones are ever so hard to find. Anyway, I promptly picked one up and dropped it into my shopping bag. So. When I told my mom about it, she said "Tsk. That is shoplifting." But not in a really serious tone or anything. Hm. Anyway, those erasers are there for the damn customers! And I was a customer, dammit. I deserved something as a consolation for the horrid employees there. Hmmpph. 10.27.01

I LOVE GOOGLE!!! HAHAHAHAH!!! I WAS ABLE TO RECOVER MY OLD RANDOM THOUGHTS ENTRIES!!! *sigh* So happy. 10.24.01

The horror, the horror. All of the wonderful (at least, they were wonderful to me) random thoughts from April or so on have become... obliterated. *sobs* Alright. So, in my quest to move on and be in mourning no more, I am starting anew, keeping only the select favorite entries that survived. Hopefully, I've not lost my nerve in the world of non sequitur trifles. 10.20.01

I hate it when someone IMs you going "hey" and you say "hey" back and the person says "hey" again. 9.3.01

Tip for those involved in high-speed car chases: during the chase, drive into a large, multi-leveled parking structure, preferably one at a mall. If possible, have someone else waiting for you inside the parking lot with another car, in which you can make your safe escape after you ditch the old car that is by then all over television. I mean, people, if you're going to commit a crime, think ahead! *scoffs* 8.25.01

Sex must have been such an exciting thing in the olden days, that is, centuries ago, when everybody was buttoned up. The mere curve of the neck or glimpse of the bosom would have been enough to raise one's blood pressure, let alone SEX! Now, it's just become... oh, I don't know, too expected? Too obvious. Grotesque. 8.12.01

I'm really quite stupid and not as insightful or thoughtful as I think. I really haven't the right to make judgments of other people. Even having this page and putting entries of my so-called "thoughts" is outrageously narcissistic and idiotic, no? Ah well. And to think I feel this after the uncommonly good day that I had today. Really, there is nothing better than polishing off freshly steamed crabs at the pier with some good ol' pink cotton candy. Yum. 8.11.01

I love the word "noir." I love film noir. Think "L.A. Confidential." 8.7.01

God forbid anyone try to masquerade their cruelty as honesty. 8.2.01

I'm not sure how I feel about those blow-dryer things for your hands in public bathrooms. On the one hand (no pun intended. Is this even a pun, I wonder? Hm.), it seems good for the environment because it eliminates the need for paper towels and also reduces the subsequent bales of garbage. On the other hand, the dryer uses electricity, and, more importantly, I just feel like the oh so warm breeze cultivates bacteria and promptly directs them to my hand. Hm. I dunno. Maybe it's just me. I just don't feel zestfully clean unless I can wipe my hands dry on paper towels. Maybe if we try recycling paper towels...? I can't help feeling embarrassed though. This is just the sort of stupid notions that's making this planet go down the drain. "Oh, but I love my diesel-fueled car! I don't feel like I'm really driving unless I'm driving a diesel-fueled engine!" And possibly "But I don't want to separate cans from plastic from glass! It's just too much of a hassle!" Hm. Oh well. 7.30.01

I think it's stupid and remarkably myopic that people think ugly or fat people are kindhearted and have great personalities, whereas attractive people are prone to be bastards/bitches. It's the same kind of mindset as thinking there is absolute evil and absolute good in the world. Unfortunately, we are not living in a land created by the brothers Grim or Hans Christian Anderson or whoever. Maybe someday, people (and Hollywood) will realize the real world is just a tad more complex than that. 7.29.01

Chris Rock as a white blood cell. Hahaha... I love it. 7.27.01

This entry is being brought to you, again, by Ms. Lindsey Elizabeth Courtney, who is back from Europe and is waiting impatiently for her photos from abroad to develop. "People shouldn't treat IMs like letters. there is no need to sign one's name at the end." Yesh. It seems there are some individuals that treat an IM like a letter, and end the IM with the likes of "Take care, XXXX" or something. Really, there's no need to sign your name, especially not your last name, since it should be pretty obvious to the person receiving the IM who the person is that sent the IM, no? Hm. Is this is a reflection of our society in which the formal letter has disappeared, yet trying to preserve them in informal electronic instant messages? In the words of Kuzco from Disney's animated motion picture "The Emperor's New Groove," I should like to say, "Don't know, don't care." 7.24.01

Jimminy Cricket came to visit me today. I suppose he must have thought I needed to do some thinking about my conscience because he stayed for quite a while, hopping around, going behind my dresser, under my bed, and generally alarming the hell out of me. (And for those of you who are wondering whether or not this is a metaphor for my soul-searching, let me tell you, it's not. There really was a cricket dressed in a vest, jacket, and top hat with no trousers in my room. So there.) 7.23.01

I despise pop-up ads so goddam much. And it seems I've been swindled into downloading some ad generator or some other shitty thing, so whenever I first open my browser or open a new window, all these damned ads pop up and clutter my screen! Aaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh. Anyway, I am noticing that my entries make me seem like a woman hater, a misogynist. Really, I'm not. I am quite the feminist, although I scorn the so-called girl-power independent women "movement" that is supposedly some revolutionary step for women. Please. Feminism isn't about kicking people's butts under the guise of what are essentially male fantasies. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, OK, so a lot of women annoy me, but I'm not as biased against them as I seem. (As I'm writing this, I'm becoming aware that any more of an explanation about this matter would merely make it a validation that I really do hate women, and that I am only trying to convince others, and myself, that I am not with such a lengthy defense. So, I'll leave it at that.) 7.21.01

I'm really trying not to get so anally attached to the concept of signing guestbooks (because I rarely do myself when I visit sites), but I really do wish more people would sign my guestbook. I can tell when new people visit this site *hint hint* (not so subtle, yes?) and I would appreciate comments or even just a mediocre "Wassa." (OK, I'll say please.) Ah well. Someday, someone will make my life complete. Haha... Hm... 7.20.01

Where do they find these people on "Jaywalk?" Where do they find them? Maybe the show's producers hold up cue cards with dumb answers the people just read off. Or maybe not. 7.18.01

When people start making emotional calculations--that is when people lose. If someone wants something from us, why don't we just do it and don't ponder why we should stoop so low to do so or let our pride get in the way, or something. If you think about it, it doesn't really take much to make the other person happy. Often, it rarely requires more than a few kind words. I wonder why we make it so hard on ourselves by getting into meaningless conflicts, drawing lines and holding grudges when life is so short. The little mistakes that we make on a daily basis that seem so trivial will, in the end, in the blink of an eye, become our entire lives. And then we will find that our whole life has been one huge regret. And then we will close our eyes, weeping. Of course, how easy is it to accomplish this? Who really is wise enough? I surely, am not. 7.17.01

It seems I've been having a lot of one-liner entries lately. Well, here's something to break that. I've realized that looking for "meaningful" conversation with someone you meet online is a rather bleak task. It's not that you can't find someone intelligent enough to speak to; if you look hard enough, there's always someone with similar interests, thoughts. But once you strike the conversation on such a heavy note, after that, it seems you're obliged to say something the next time you talk to the person that is equally having some weight. And then what happens to me is that I start talking about my ludicrous and entirely stupid, depressing notions and inevitably drive the other person off a cliff or something. Then I realize what I'd done and then I try not to speak to the person anymore and save them from my idiocy. Ah, me. And then, I think it is I that has become the dull one. 7.16.01

Most dangerous job choice: Washington intern. 7.15.01

Saying the word "gay" in pig latin sadly doesn't work. Ity pay. 7.12.01

Isn't it ironic that in Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic" nothing that she claims is ironic is really ironic? 7.11.01

I like last names that are like first names and first names that are like last names. 7.10.01

There is a new shampoo called Hydrology by Treseme or something or another. Anyway, on the commercial, they said something like "'hydro-' for moisture; '-ology' for science!" OH MY GOD. Someone send these people a dictionary. Or better yet, a brain. But I suppose it's the advertising executives I should really be making fun of, but I am more prone to mock the society that fuels such idiocy. Speaking of commercials, I really like the new Jack in the Box commercial that makes fun of all the wireless and internet technology commercials, jabbing at the kind of pseudo-inspirational, new-millennium bullshit referred to in the 7.2 entry. Hm. And I am noticing that there have been a lot of television- and movie-related entries. I suppose this reflects the summary of my, uh, main activities these days. Heh. 7.9.01

Agatha Christie novels are fine and dandy but I always feel swindled after I finish one. It's what happens in the end, mostly. Introducing never before seen characters, excluding the most important information, all in all pure manipulation of the reader. Grr... I'm sure all mystery books are like that however. Being an Agatha Christie fan myself, I have to admit there are ones that are actually quite good. But I still feel jipped. 7.8.01

It's funny when people die in movies with their eyes still open and someone else closes their eyes and the supposedly dead person closes their eyes before the other person's fingers even touch over their eyes. (Did that make sense?) But, of course I don't think it's funny when someone dies in general. Just when something like things happens. 7.7.01

I've noticed that these random thoughts have become something of a diary, albeit an informal one, which is actually quite good for me because I don't feel the obligation to write in a pretty little book everyday about every mundane detail of my little life even when I am not in the mood for it. Sometimes though, when I feel or see something that I think about for a considerable amount of time, I suppose I remember it later and turn on my computer and write some thoughts and upload it to this site. Of course, I am doing this with the knowledge that some people visit this site, but... I don't think I really expect anyone to read it. I guess what I want is just to throw my thoughts somewhere, to another place, and when I read them over, even though some of the entries are quite tedious, they amuse me to know that I was thinking of something like that during that time in my life. So I guess this is a random thought of my random thoughts. Heh. 7.3.01

I just saw a commercial for a hair coloring substance called "Open." The insipid phrase "Are you open?" is weaved in and out of each scene, with this triumphant new-millennium-ish song going on in the background, as if hair coloring has gone through such a revolution that it is indicative of the advancement of mankind. Or they seem to be trying to convey a sense of independence and freedom or something. Usually, my eyes glaze over and my brain doesn't really interpret such things on television, but once in awhile, I wake up and become thoroughly amused at the incredible ludicrousness or merely become very depressed. Times like right now though, I guess I just want to make an observation of things. 7.2.01

Dido sounds like she sings through a wool blanket. Hers is a dull, unclarified version of Sarah McLachlan's voice. Ahem. But her songs and lyrics are tolerable. Does she write her own songs? I suppose she does. 7.1.01

Edward Furlong is cute. Considering the biographies I've read on him, though, it seems he's a pretty fucked up person though. I still like Colin Firth though, and once a upon a time I liked Russell Crowe (still kinda do). I guess this is just an update of another one of my celebrity obsessions. 6.30.01

It is abnormal to be "normal," insane to be "sane." How can someone live in this world and feel completely well-adjusted? When you turn on the television or radio, open up a magazine or paper, drive down the road, everything is nothing but reminders of the sorry state in which we exist. Maybe depression is normal. Sure, it's supposed to be caused by abnormally low levels of serotonin or lack of nerve inhibitors or whatever... But maybe, the so-called "normal" levels of hormones and such are... not what is supposed to be. Life is suffering, and thought was developed to think about this suffering and learn something from it. This is what separates humans from other species, is it not? But if people simply dismiss those who take this suffering so completely, deep in their bones, and prescribe things like therapy and drugs as "remedies," is there any room for thought? Is there any room for enlightenment? The "normal" person that society wants is a cheerful, mindless, productive individuals. Then who really is sane and who is not? 6.26.01

OK, I finally saw "Erin Brockovich" today and became even more convinced that Julia Roberts did not deserve that Best Actress Oscar. Of course, it is not as if I had much faith in the tastes of the Academy in the past since their nominations themselves are incredibly limited and shortsighted, so this was just another validation of my judgments, I suppose. There must be lots more people like me, however, because in the commercials for the Independent Spirit Awards on Bravo (or was it the IFC?), they asked the viewers "Tired of always talking with your friends of who should have won? Well, maybe you're just watching the wrong awards show!" or something along those lines. I should also note that this random thought has been brought to you by Ms. Lindsey Elizabeth Courtney, who informed me that it is seven days until she leaves for Europe and should be rewarded with a new random thought. I must say that I am rather flattered that one of my ridiculous thoughts is enjoyable enough to be a reward. Or was she just being sarcastic?!? I may never know... 6.25.01

I love that announcer guy that does that little thing after the credits of every "Late Show." Sometimes he says things like "I like pants" or other random things like that... Tonight, he said "Hahahahaha." Haha... 6.19.01

God bless America, the land of the free and where sluts like Monica Lewinsky roam free and appear on television instead of being stoned to death. OK, so maybe that woman in a Middle East country (the specific name of which I can't think of at the moment and I am unwilling to take the risk of sounding like Dubya and just randomly naming one) who got stoned to death for having an affair with a married man got the short end of the stick, but I think some exceptions can be made here. 6.18.01

Wow. Looks like it's been a whole week since my last random thought. It's not that I haven't been having an random thoughts, but finals have been killing me. Strangely, it's not that I was using the time that I would spend doing these random thoughts to study. But I knew that I would feel guilty if I did end up working on this rather than pretending to study. As a result, I got virtually nothing done. So now, even with a massive chemistry final tomorrow morning at 8, I have succumbed to doing this instead. Let's see... Eating a veggie burger is like drinking non-alcoholic beer. Why even bother? Either take the chance of getting coronary disease and being hung over the next morning, or else get a salad or some nice cider! Why would you even need a substitute if the whole point is to avoid consuming these things anyway? Hm... That's all that I can muster up at this moment. My brain must be more fried than I thought. 6.13.01

I'm very depressed. Or I guess "melancholy" is a better word. This quarter system is rather killing me, and I feel a little version of how I felt after a year has gone by in high school after each quarter, or how I felt the last weeks before graduation. I don't attempt to say that I'm a terribly social person and that I feel this way because I love people I've met so much, but, nevertheless, I feel a sort of emptiness because just when I've come to enjoy and become comfortable with someone's presence, it is time to part. 6.6.01

I know the truth in this statement is so utterly obvious and widely-known that even saying it seems ridiculous, but... Online people are W-E-I-R-D. Oh yes, they are. I'm half inclined to paste some of the conversations on here, but it would get too long, and anyway, I guess I should respect the privacy of these weird individuals. 6.4.01

Was there ever a writer who didn't suffer? Was there anyone in misery that wasn't a poet? And why are those people that announce prizes on game shows always named Dick? (Or is it just my imagination?) And another thing: VIRUS CHECKERS ARE WORTH ABOUT AS MUCH AS SHIT. Turns out I had a virus in my computer... Did the virus checker with its five-star gold shield motherfucking shit take care of it? Hell no. OK, on a lighter note, we found a bird nest with three little baby birds perched on the support beams outside our front door. How lovely. A quiet reminder of life and nature. Meanwhile, the mother bird (or the father bird for all I know) was perched on the tree nearby, glaring at us. (Why no, I'm not overanthropomorphizing! I mean, it sure looked like I was being glared at.) OK, back to the bitching about the computer virus... Oooohhh... This just in folks: the virus warning was a hoax. A big, fat, stinking hoax. Now doesn't that just put your faith back for humanity? I mean, if it was a virus, ok, so it was out of maliciousness, but this evil is in all of us, and I can deal with that. But what kind of a low-life idiot would do something so enormously asinine as to make up a warning about a nonexistent virus? That is just too dumb to even attempt comprehension. Geez. What a disappointment. OK, so I take back all that bashing at McAfee, Norton, and the likes. Sorry, fellas. 5.30.01

I absolutely hate it when people use silly, overly-philosophical, pretentious bullshit quotations taken from philosophers, or whoever, on their AIM profiles when it is so annoyingly obvious that these people do not, in reality, ever house any of the thoughts or opinions voiced by those quotations in the first place. Profiles should be something that is your own, however eccentric or mundane it may be. And in truth, it is these idiosyncrasies that make true profiles worthwhile to read, while those that are merely regurgitations of something one has heard or read prove excruciatingly insipid. (After that diatribe, I just hope I haven't made any spelling or grammatical errors and totally make this random thought a thing of stupid irony.) 5.29.01

Hm... I'm starting to like the Backstreet Boys again... They always were better than *NSync. 5.28.01

Another conspiracy: they want you to regard the English as THE ENEMY. In most movies, the villains are always those with that particular accent; e.g., Jeremy Irons as Scar in "The Lion King" (actually, Jeremy Irons in every movie he's ever made), Rupert Everett as Dr. Claw in "Inspector Gadget," Ian McKellan as Magneto in "X-Men," et al. I know there are more instances... And the use of these British actors is usually totally incongruous with the rest of the movie, like in "The Lion King." I mean, everyone else has an American accent except Scar. What is that? What, only Scar was separated from the rest of his family and was raised in the conservatories funded by British gentry but decided to come back to Africa so he can rule Pride Rock? Oh, and reflecting on my 3.5.01 thought, it seems this "Inspector Gadget" franchise is chock-full of conspiracies. Hmmm... For all I know, next they'll tell me Penny was really a male midget. 5.17.01

I think I am turning into something of an anglophile. Or perhaps, this is the culminating result of years of a certain affinity for the country and culture. Although, I think I could do without the mad cow and foot and mouth diseases. (Shall we snog?) On an unrelated note, I don't think I will ever do investigative reporting for The Bruin again. It has proved to be a somewhat horrendous experience. Also, on another unrelated note, I do believe I am more intrigued by Colin Firth's role in "BJD" than anything else, although I do admit that it certainly helps that he is very good-looking indeed. But there is something so appealing about an aloof and serious man who occasionally wears silly things like reindeer sweaters (or "jumpers") and Santa Claus neck ties because his mother bought them for him. It is always disappointing, however, to find that in real life, many of the actors that play these kinds of roles are actually quite flighty people who lack all sense of gravity. Ah, me. 5.16.01

Not that I really care either way, since I personally prefer indies, but I think Jennifer Lopez, aka J-Lo, should have played Lara Croft for "Tomb Raider." I think her exaggerated features would be more suitable to play the graphic vixen than Angelina Jolie's. 5.15.01

I'd actually watched this a few days ago and didn't get around to mention it then, but "Mrs. Parker and Her Vicious Circle" is quite an excellent movie. Mesmerizing, artful, and very depressing. Just the way I like it. 5.7.01

I think "obsession" could be an understatement, but anyway... I am currently checking out every known article and photograph of this "Mr. Darcy." How perfect. I had no idea he was also in "The English Patient." Gives me another reason to watch that again. 4.29.01

Latest celebrity obsession: Colin Firth. Catch him in "Bridget Jones' Diary," a modern-day, comic Pride and Prejudice with the same Mr. Darcy. Charming. 4.28.01

P. Diddy. Hmm. I think the ludicrousness of this whole thing is so apparent that it renders my sarcastic comments unnecessary. But I must say, it was pretty funny when a local news anchor on CBS said something along the lines of "and P. Diddy was arrested again..." I wonder how anyone can say that with a straight face. 4.15.01

Enough with these goddam vote-each-other-off-and-marry-a-millionaire-while-trying-to-find-out-who-is-the-mole/ whore/weakest link/idiot enough to create, produce, and air this kind of reality show shows already! The point of ludicrousness has been passed eons ago, believe me. 3.31.01

The physical appearance of the cartoon character The Brain in "Pinky and the Brain" was definitely modeled after the distinguished film critic Roger Ebert. 3.28.01

Yes, I hate it when people use adjectives like adverbs. I hate it when people use "you're" and "your" interchangeably. I hate it when people do not know when to use "good" and when to use "well." But I hate it most when people use the word "whom" religiously, with such emphasis. Sure, I do appreciate the use of decent grammar so that what someone is saying is not cacophonous to the ears of others, but sometimes, people overdo it. 3.13.01

I think I want to comment a bit on the previous random thought. I do not mean to demean the entire notion of love. And as I've said, it does not help that I cannot seem to be able to articulate exactly what I mean. It is quite hard, as Lewis Carroll implied, to "say what you mean and mean what you say." With that being said, I think there is infatuation and the tendency to be in love with being in love. Hmm.. Ah well. 3.10.01

I wonder if there even is such a thing as love. I think there is fate, but I do not, by any means, imply something overly romantic and idealized in that it means two people were "meant" for each other: I believe in two people being "star-crossed." However, I have gotten to think that most people, or couples, anyway, become to settle for the other. I cannot seem to articulate this at this point, but it seems that anything that depends on the emotions of another person is futile and eventually meaningless, illusionary. 3.6.01

Miyoung and I agree, there is a global conspiracy to drive children mad. Have you noticed how there are so many cartoons where the faces of some of the most interesting characters are never revealed? Only their body part is shown, and those times when you actually think you're finally going to get to see their faces, they're conveniently covered by some object... Take Dr. Claw in "Inspector Gadget" or the Nanny in "Muppet Babies," and more recently, that smart lady that helps out the town mayor in the "Powerpuff Girls." It's a conspiracy, I tell you, designed to get little watchers of Saturday morning cartoons become glued to the set and become insanely hysterical when they think the mysterious faces are going to be revealed, only to be disappointed when the faces aren't revealed at all. Aaahh.. Loss of innocence, you say? I think more like loss of sanity. 3.5.01

Hmmm... Dubya Bush has been president for about two months now... And it seems half of the nation's population didn't flee to Canada and nothing tremendously bad has happened yet. Oh yeah, except for that little thing in Iraq... 3.4.01

Why do they bother to put those buttons for "CLOSE" in elevators? They are utterly useless! No matter how much you press them, the elevator doors do not close a second earlier than they would if you didn't press the "CLOSE" button at all. This is really frustrating, especially in horror films when there's a psychopathic killer chasing after you with an axe and you're in the elevator trying to close the door by fanatically pushing the "CLOSE" button so that the killer can't follow you. *whew* 3.3.01

Go to your destiny.

People say fluff words like "shoot" and "freaking" in place of their fouler counterparts. These words are designed to sound similar to the offensive words without having any other meaning whatsoever. However, the emotion behind the ejaculation of these words are still there, and the only reason the person speaking does not utter the "bad" word is only because of decorum and not because the person is good, per se, and does not want to say such words. So, the point is, if you're in a situation that you are so angry that you have to yell out something, just say the "offensive" words! Believe me, there is hardly any harm done by it except maybe shocking a few old biddies, and they are bound to be shocked by anything, and you are sure as hell not going to be damned for all eternity for doing so.

It is a universal truth: bad drivers have even worse road rage.... As if I'M the one that made a mistake and THEY did nothing wrong?!?

There's nothing like a summer night--light yet still rich and palpable, a cool treat after a long, hot day. It is a bit weird to experience this in early January as I am now, but this, it seems, is one of the trappings of living in Los Angeles.

Petroleum companies caring for the environment; cigarette companies doing community services; these are a few of my favorite things... uh yeah, as things of gross social irony.